"Healthy lifestyle.."

I dunno about you guys, but I'm all for giving nature a bit of help. I've had lasik, for example, and am very happy with it.

Not that I actually ever really minded wearing glasses, but I could not recognize my own kids when in a swimming pool and they were more than six feet away. And let's face it. swimming after other peoples kids and tickling them is not socially acceptable. At least in the US.

Which brings me to the other little help I'd like to give nature: I have never found a sport that I find in the least interesting. Sure, I play pool and snooker, and it's technically a sport, I guess. After all, you do move a ball around. And scuba-diving is lovely, but I think that if you see it as an aerobic exercise, you're doing something wrong (the best part of scuba diving is the floating and looking around - very much avoiding exercise).

So let's face it, I sit around like a vegetable 99% of the time. My job is sitting in front of a computer, and when I relax, the last thing I want to do is run around. I used to swim a while, and for half a year or so I actually spent about 45 minutes in the pool almost every day, and it helped, but while I enjoy swimming, at some point it just became counting laps.

So then I lapsed (I kill myself - I'll be here all week), and didn't get back in the habit, and now while there's a pool nearby, parking is inconvenient and I just can't be bothered. I've tried things you can do at home (jump-rope? I actually enjoy it, but not enough to do it. Air pistol? Doesn't really do that whole "body sculpting" thing - you can do it sitting down and eating cheetos. Everything else? Totally horrible).

So I eat fairly healthy instead. It works. I have enough self-control (and genes - I'm convinced it's largely genetic) to keep from looking like "the blob" from the movie, and I happily like most healthy food. But the exercise nuts just irritate me.

So today google news had another cluster about new reports about SRT1720 (short version: it kicks up your metabolism and makes you burn fat without that stupid and boring exercise. At least if you're a mouse. And it probably will work the same way in humans, because the pathways are all the same).

And just about every single damn article about it had that annoying "Eat healthy and exercise" note.

I want to kick the next person who says that in the nuts. And I'll call that my exercise for the day (or, to be honest, for the week).

Sure, some people apparently get a runners high and really enjoy exercise, and they'll say how much people like me are "missing". My dad is apparently one of those freaks, as is my wife. I'm not. I have never in my life felt like exercise has made me feel that way. I spent eleven months in the Finnish army, and I was probably in the best shape of my life, and all I ever felt was sweaty (and cold. And bored).

So bring on the drugs. If I can kick up my metabolism with a pill, I'll do it in a heartbeat. And the next sanctimonious bastard that talks about all I'm missing can damn well walk away holding his nuts and going "Oww, Oww, oww".

Because I'm not missing anything.