Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Outwitting the fashion police

This is a public service announcement for all geeks.

Are you tired of people pointing out that you shouldn't use socks and sandals? I know, it really annoyed me too. It's like they are trying to take away your geek card.

But there's a solution.

For a year now, I've been avoiding the fashion police by instead of "sandals" wearing "shoes with holes in their sides". I've got these Keen's that look enough like shoes that nobody ever bats an eye at you wearing them with socks (Ok, by "nobody", I mean my wife, but that's all that matters, right?).

The problem is that it looks like the fashion police may be starting to figure it out. The model I have seems to be no longer in production, and now all the new ones I find are pretty obviously sandals (toes and/or heel showing).

So when I wear out my current ones, I'm going to be in trouble again. Damn.

85 comments:

Maxo said...

Hmmm...My solution to external fashion police (people I don't know) is to agree with them as if it never occurred to me that I dress like a complete idiot.
To my wife I simply blame her. Since she married me she has justified the act of being a nerd by making it simultaneously compatible with reproducing.

Cuetzpallin said...

I know exactly what you mean, probably I need to look for those "shoes" in order to comply with that fashion police that I had been ignoring during last days.

If you found any place where we can acquire a pair let us know ;-)

Have fun.

summatusmentis said...

Birkenstock make "clogs" that are open heel, but closed toe. They're incredibly comfortable.

floyd said...

I have a pair of Sanuks that were marketed as sandals that look like shoes, and that's how it feels to wear them. Coolest thing since sandals.

pbsdesign said...

Hey Linus, You could always do a sideline in "shoes with holes in their sides for geeks" - with little Tux (or Tuz?) logos on... the ultimate geek fashion accessory designed and endorsed by the man himself? ;) Open-Source shoes haha

Adam said...

Assuming she isn't within earshot just tell people you wear whatever your wife buys for you.

pdwalker said...

Socks and sandals are perfect for each other. The socks give your feet room to breath so your feet don't get all sweaty on the bottom.

The heck with what other people think.

IT-Hure said...

Use these short socks that also fit well with sneakers. Fashion police is happy with that.

Inmodify said...

The Metro sexual fad never made sense. Rednecks get dressed up to go to bars. Pretty people have advantages. Hackers work from a chair 20 hours a day.

I say: Get dressed up once a year. Take a lot of pictures. Post the pictures throughout the house and profile. It's a cheap psychological hack, but one that works.

Martin said...

simply use flip-flops -> no shoes, no sandals, no socks... so you have the most freedom and you can even walk around barefoot in you office and that's sopposed to be quite healthy...

Jakub Narebski said...

"Shoes with holes" (some of which you had to wear socks to avoid abrasion, as with normal shoes) are quite common and easy to find here in Europe (Poland). I have ones by Xrisflex.

OTOH sometimes it is hard to find more open sandals.

day said...

I can't imagine to have together socks and sandals.

But then, being a french, fashion is innate ;-) and no amount of nerdity would change that.

asjo said...

Pictures or it didn't happen.

:-)

jamesgecko said...

The fashion police have no sway upon my clothing. A good trick is to point out that you could always be wearing something worse.

For example, you could say that the alternative is just wearing sandals all the time without socks. Offer to oblige them on the spot. Maniacal laughter is optional, although it may help to drive the point home.

W. said...

I think this is a problem every geek encounters sooner or later in one form or another.

Now my problem is, that not wearing socks contradicts my efforts on personal hygiene: When do you wear sandals? When it's hot. When it's hot you're sweating, and sweating you do most on your feet' soles.

I don't know how it is with other people, but in my experience the mixture of sweat and bare foot on the shoe's footbed and movement i.e. walking leads to the formation of a kind of "sludge" made from abraised callus, textile fibre and sweat. Give it some time in a warm and humid environment, i.e. the conditions beneath your feet and it develops a distinct and not very pleasant smell.

The only actual solution to address this problem I found so far is: SOCKS. Normally I carry along an extra pair, on warm days even two and on hot days even three or four pairs for regular change.

Of course my personal fashion police, my mother, was never keen of me wearing socks in sandals. One hot day I said to her: "Okay, I'm going to wear no socks the whole day in sandals." In the afternoon I took off a sandal, got a ruler, scraped with that the sludge from my foot's sole and handed that her. Disgusting, I know, but very effective. Since that day I never heard another complaint, except suggestions on which pair best matches the rest of my outfit.

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

LOL, i never thought something like this can bug Linus.

Troy said...

Its funny, you're a guy I would almost expect to wear sock and sandals.

Ives said...

Fashion is just abritrary bullshit anyway.

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Jakub Narebski said...

@W.: use good sandals, e.g. with leather sole / footbed, not some leather imitation or cheap plastic. I have no problems with using sandals without socks, but I wouldn't use shoes-with-holes without them.

Samir said...

Linus,

you can totally avoid socks if you wear running shoes made of that funky mesh material. The mesh has great ventilation (which eliminates sweating), running shoe covers your feet entirely (and keeps them from prying eyes, including those of fashion police). As a bonus, you can actually walk and run in these shoes.

As another bonus, you will look hip. Nobody needs a hip emergency, at any age.

Leus said...

I consider myself a geek, but dammit those sandals-and-socks look bad. Next you will be wearing your pants up to your armpits.

adamo said...

It is my observation that sandals and socks are a choice of "northern" people. Us geeks of the Mediterranean do not combine them. But then again, a lot of tourists do, and not all of them are geeks.

Linus, wear crocs.

Ives said...

Please don't wear crocs.

Baloo said...

Heh, anybody pointing out socks with sandals is a fashion faux pas in Oregon is probably not Oregonian, just forgot to leave when they're done visiting. How else are you supposed to wear sandals on 50°F days?

NixFU said...

Linus I saw some like you wanted at zappos.com

Colin Gebhart said...

Teva and Keen are still making them. I just saw them at REI. I want some too, but man they are pricey. Here you go...

http://www.rei.com/product/781265

http://www.rei.com/product/748162

Wolfwood said...

Why not just leave the socks off and clip your toenails? You don't really need the socks in that heat, do you?

Ika Wardani said...

I think fashion police is not bad..... if you confidence to wear the clothes sure you will feel good

Mackenzie said...

You live in a city full of hippies. Finding these shouldn't be hard: http://www.earthfootwear.com/ourfootwear/ourfootwearproducts/tabid/65/language/en-us/p-146-coast.aspx


Oh, and please, don't listen to the person that suggested Crocs. My lady-sense is at least good enough to know those are ugly.

Jonpaul said...

Fashion police in Portland? I see pajamas and stained white t-shirts nearly everyday. At least socks indicate that you are dong laundry.

Hoshpak said...

I know exactly what you mean. But why care about what others say? I always ask people to give me a single argument why I shouldn't wear socks in sandals and no one ever came up with only a trace of one. Just ignore the fashion police and don't let others tell you what you have to wear.

Maximilian said...

As a wise man said: If You have that kind of problems - You don't have problems at all.

Jester said...

I don't have feets. I live in a box. :) So I don't need shoes. :)

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supercheetah said...

I've worn black socks before with sandals, and were told that it doesn't look as tacky. You might be alright with that.

flrichar said...

I just say "you should smell my feet without the socks..."

Yossarian UK said...

Linus if you are ever worried about the state of your fashion (I don't for one minute think you ever do..) just load up a image of RMS that will put your mind at rest.

W. said...

@Jakub Narebski I do wear sandals with leather sole footbed. I tried them all. Nothing helped.

Jester said...

Try to put the socks over the sandals... On the surface :)

dsavi said...

Keep the faith, don't let those practicality-hating philistines get you down.

Crocs are definitely not the answer.

Diego Viola said...

Hi Linus,

I think your style is really cool, I really like the glasses you wear here ;).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/12693492@N04/1338136415/

cjp said...

Well I always wear my converse until they have holes in the sides, and then I wear them some more. To me a good shoe is a well-worn shoe. Not sure if this counts as "geeky" or just plain cheap! ;-)

Hartmuts blog said...

What about socks looking like feet? It's possible to print images on shirts and cups, so why not print an image of your feet on socks? Let's call them socklets, giving you one more year of peace and happyness. By proper marketing, I'm sure those socks can become a commercial success, too. F.e. when bundled both for left and right feet architectures (so-called cloud-socklets).

Just another great invention I suppose.

Pjotr said...

I have the same argument with my wife... I quite fail to see what's wrong with socks in sandals.

Thanks for the moral support. :-)

Stefan Chirila said...

yeah, it just gets harder when your very own fashion police officer is your wife ...well in my case my girlfriend =P haha and trying to convince her to both accept you the way you are and at the same time be willing to be seen with you "the way you are" down the street haha =P

Vinny said...

Hi Linus! :}

We're organizing an event here in Brazil, and we would really like to receive you as a guest (a root guest, lol)

The hotsite is: http://www.simonsen.br/lif - Linux Install Fest

Please, let me know if you're up to it!

Regards,
Vinicius Vinhas
vvinhas@gmail.com

canthus13 said...

check out www.teva.com. Tevas rock. They've got to be the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. They make several different styles of sandals/shoes with holes in them. Oh, and they're amazingly comfortable.

Woodlark (Kangaskiuru) said...

This thread reminds me of former Miss Finland from the fifties Mrs Lenita Airisto. She said that Finnish businessmen ruined their chances by using white tennis socks with red and blue stipes together with grey terylene suites. She had University degree in Economics so she knew what she was talking about!

Kay said...

This post as well as the comments made me giggle:) Thanks for that!

xenu said...

The best sandal alternative I've found are Tech Amphibians from Salomon:

http://www.salomonsports.com/us/#/footwear/footwear/sandals/techamphibian-2

Valentine said...

Yeah,I don't care what my geek husband wears anymore. I just want him to take a shower.

Willy D said...

How about these? They seem to meet the criteria.

http://www.amazon.com/KEEN-Arroyo-II-Hiking-Shoe/dp/B0014YO4ZS/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=shoes&qid=1248731418&sr=8-12

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Chris said...

Man, I feel your pain! My brother in law introduced me to Keens last year and since then, they have been my shoe of choice. When winter hits, I just add socks.

I'm a teacher and wish I could get away with wearing them to work...I'm not sure what shoes you're wearing, but I'm stocking up on the Keen newports.

http://www.keenfootwear.com/product/ss09/shoes/men/waterfront/newport%20h2

Not only do they give the illusion of not being sandals, they're comfortable and meant to get wet. My family just went to a local renaissance fair that was a muddy wash at the end of the day. With my trusty Keens, I just marched right through the worst of it.

Anyway, good luck finding replacements!

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Why fight it. Honestly... Give her what she wants, but on your terms not hers.

First off, don't do sandals with socks. The whole point of sandals is they let your feet breathe. Add socks and you get stinky sweaty feet that everybody can see/smell.

Go out, buy a few pair of quicksilver thong sandals. They're comfortable and cheap enough that at the end of summer you can throw them out without feeling guilty.

To keep the fashion police (your wife) off your back do this:

Goto The Buckle, purchase a couple 7 Diamonds shirts, preferrably polyester ones because they last longer, never need to be ironed, look nicer, and they're excessively expensive so you'll want them to last.

While you're there, also pick up a couple pairs of acid washed jeans. Nothing too extreme or too tight. Think subtle and character. If you don't know where to start seek help from a female employee.

Pick up some A shirts to wear under the dress shirt. The downside of Polyester is, it doesn't absorb naturally respirated moisture from your skin so polyester shirts will feel awkward and uncomfortable without a cotton undershirt. Nothing special, it might take some searching but try to find black or brown. Stay away from white, it looks too ghetto.

Get a nice belt. Preferrably something clean and simple looking. No Texas style belt buckles.

Then get a nice pair of shoes, either really classy looking sneakers (sketchers) or a nice pair of Stacy Martin dress shoes. Stay away from regular (new balance) sneakers, they look heinous with everything.

One last thing, when you're picking colors stick to black and brown (except for the jeans). Black and brown say 'classy,' the more you deviate the more you'll risk looking like a metro sexual.

Dress up randomly (even for normal daily routine) a few times a month. Do it spontaneously to keep your wife off guard and leave her wanting.

And don't forget a clean shave and a little loose hold gel for the hair. A little effort makes a big difference.

Don't be surprised if you dress up and you get some comments from the wife or her friends like, "wow, you really clean up nice," and expect to catch her from time to time looking at you with a silent blank stare.

Women's perception of fantasy is strange compared to guys. If you do this like I described, you could literally wear sweats every other day and she probably wouldn't give you heat about it. Don't be surprised to get hit with bedroom eyes while you're dressed up either.

You may not be in your 20's anymore but if you dress like you are, you're wife will look at you like you are. It's a win win.

Unless, of course, you want your wife to look at you like you're disgusting. Then socks and sandal hybrids (or crocs) work just fine. ;)